I'm sitting here at Cinebarre, a movie theater in Mountlake Terrace, WA that also serves food and drinks to your seat. I'm amongst about 100 people who have amassed in honor of Mike Vraney, a man who the general public has never heard of but really should have. In the early 90's he founded Something Weird Video, a company dedicated to unearthing and supplying video distribution for hundreds of ultra-obscure exploitation and sexploitation movies, primarily 60's and 70's stuff by the likes of Herschell Gordon Lewis (The Wizard of Gore) and Doris Wishman (Indecent Desires). These were movies relegated to the drive-in circuit and skeezy 42nd Street theaters, made for next to nothing and quickly forgotten by whatever fraction of the public saw them to begin with. With little tradition and virtually no MPAA-esque oversight, these rag-tag filmmakers whipped up some of the loosest, most memorable hunks of genre insanity you've ever seen, and Something Weird's near-endless catalog is a Hall of Infame, constantly surprising and often jawdropping. I've barely scratched the surface of their stock myself, largely because of the bazillion other movies I want to see but also because much of their catalog is 60's sexploitation, a gray-area genre that mixes plots with porn (or just chaste nudity), and I can't bring myself to be interested in old-school skin flicks. They also offer pretty much everything else from gore fests to kiddie matinees and educational reels, so if one section of their site turns you off you can always find something completely different.
Because Something Weird's catalog is something of a niche market it's not surprising that not too many people outside of the obscure weirdities film geekdom would have heard of them, so in recognition of Vraney's efforts I've decided to go over a handful of my favorite films in their catalog in order to make a "gateway" list. Despite what some people may think, I don't like every bad old movie I see, and I've tried to gear this blog to many different genres in the expectation that my readers have a taste for "real" movies, a type of movie Something Weird expressly ignored. While all these movies appeal to that geekdom I mentioned they have the potential to be enjoyed by the outside world, and I love 'em so, so shush if you think I've fallen down the rabbit hole. The last one is a movie I've been meaning to review for a while, but now is the perfect time. The DVD Mike Vraney was the most proud of was Monsters Crash the Pajama Party: Spook Show Spectacular, a packed-to-the-gills home video extravaganza wherein page after page of Halloweeny menu screens go without labels, leaving the viewer to be surprised and delighted with the treasures they find. The only reason I'm not doing that is that it's not a movie but rather a dozen or so short subjects and goofy extras, and that masterpiece needs no help from me in the fanbase department.
Without this company we may not have ever been given the chance to see these flicks, so thank god for home video and a tip of the hat to Vraney and crew. Movie night wouldn't be as demented without them.
The 60's was the age of Edgar Allan Poe, kicked off by Roger Corman's priceless series with Vincent Price and copied endlessly by those who like making money. The Black Cat (1966), while one of several adaptations and probably not the objective best of them, is a swift, stylish update on the tale, made in Texas and largely unseen until Something Weird's The Black Cat/The Fat Black Pussycat double feature DVD. A young married couple collects animals, but this doesn't keep the husband from trying to strangle his wife. Though he's unsuccessful, he takes his rage out on Pluto, a black cat his wife got him as a present, taking its eye out (in a really shoddy effect) and electrocuting it! He takes an electroshock vacation at the sanitarium, eventually befriending a new black cat with a bad eye, and then madness and guilt start to close in on him, but not before we see a performance of a go-go band donning eye patches, complete with the audience frugging to "Bo Diddley." All of this is really nicely shot, using its blacks and whites to full effect and at times letting the setpieces engulf the viewer. It's apparently quite faithful to the original story despite its modern setting, so Poe enthusiasts will find it an interesting variation at the very least. The other movie on the DVD is a sloppy, faux-Beat infused mess, so start with The Black Cat and sink in for 73 minutes of stylish creeps.
One of the most famous licenses Something Weird got was the library of Harry Novak, a legendary sleaze peddler from the drive-in days whose movies are the very definition of enticement. Just look at that poster - total vintage greatness, and the movie's ripe for the picking, too. A unique-esque horror mash-up, The Child (1977) follows the foreboding mystery of 11-year-old Rosalie, a precocious and seemingly evil girl whose hidden skills turn what should be a pleasant visit from a neighbor into a waking nightmare. Everything about the movie evokes Halloween, from the scrumptiously hokey plot to the peppering of jack-o-lanterns throughout the film, right down to a Gol-Dang zombie attack. Something Weird's DVD looks fantastic, the transfer dripping in deep color contrast and luscious film grain, and the clarity of DVD means we can see all the seams in the crude zombie makeup. One drawback is that the movie's dialog is entirely dubbed, not because it was made in Europe but because the director was too cheap to record sound on the set, but I think it's some of the better dubbing in these kinds of horror movies. Something Weird's Harry Novak DVD's went out of print a while ago, so if you see a copy of this one snatch it up ASAP. It also comes with Del Tenney's I Eat Your Skin, if that's any kind of incentive.
Now hold on just a sec - Scream of the Butterfly (1965) ain't exactly an "Adults Only" affair. It's mostly a tale of infidelity and entertaining melodramatics told in flashback by a room full of snark-butt divorce lawyers. Two days after her marriage, Marla Williams (or "Miss Slutsy-Wutsy" as one of the lawyers saddles with her) falls deeply in lust with her "young Adonis" Paul, leading to lots of swimming and slow-mo, string-orchestra-throbbing making out. The big twist in the movie, aside from the surprisingly hiply directed presentation of the thing, is the reveal that Paul is bi and sleeping with an older man on the side, and this evidence isn't taken lightly in the flash-forward bickering. While the plot may not sound too creative, this movie is way, WAY cooler than its material calls for, wildly energetic and drenched in acidic humor. It's actually the "B-side" movie on SWV's Day of the Nightmare/Scream of the Butterfly DVD but it should be the "A-side", as Day of the Nightmare was far too clumsy and boring to get me to care about crossdressing husbands. If you're worried about that "Adults Only" label, don't - it's much more hyperactive soap opera than pseudo-porn, as there's really no porn, or even nudity, to be found. If you're in the mood for a wicked good time with B&W beachfront hysterics, Scream of the Butterfly should do the trick - Who Could Resist?
While many people continue to debate as to which movie featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 was the worst, my vote will always go to the one that occupied my Wost Movie I've Ever Seen slot for many years (until the Final Boss of Film showed up) - The Starfighters (1964). While the production may have begun as a drama centered around air force pilots, something must have gone horribly wrong, or at the very least the money ran out, because the film is about 30% drama and 70% stock footage of jets taking off, jets landing, jets refueling, jets dropping bombs, and jets just flying around for the heck of it, and that's a generous estimate. The fact that the movie was released to theaters is insulting, and the distributors should have just shelved the footage and moved on. Imagine my surprise when I found that its director, Will Zens, made a good movie a few years before called Capture that Capsule! (1961, aka Spy Squad), a Kold War Komedy about a couple of bumbling Soviet agents trying to get a rocket capsule with secret information and the US agents who foil them at every turn. Made a year before the Cuban Missile Crisis, Capture that Capsule! makes up for its amateurish direction and bargain-bin acting with some genuine laughs and a steady pace, bouncing from one gag to the next with a breezy smile. The DVD page tries to play up how bad it is, but if you just unclench your sphincters for a bit it's a really enjoyable goof-off satire that remains a fascinating piece of Cold War ephemera. Just wait until we finally get to see what's in the capsule.
While most of Something Weird's catalog is best for belly laughing, Axe is a stark contrast in every sense of the word. Another Harry Novak entry, 1977's Axe (aka Lisa, Lisa aka The Virgin Slaughter aka California Axe Massacre, even though the movie isn't set in California) follows a frightening group of criminals as they scum-spree their way away from a murder, driving the backroads of the wintry South and at one point stopping at a grocery store to scare and humiliate the check-out girl. They stop at an isolated farmhouse inhabited by Lisa, a monotone, socially tone deaf teenager, and her near-catatonic grandfather, who spends most of the day watching TV static. They blunder their way into the house, demanding meals and lusting after Lisa, and while Lisa's non-reaction to chicken butchering should have been a cue to her unhinged mental state nobody could have predicted what she would do with that hatchet. Axe is a minor masterpiece of desolation and economy, wringing so much atmosphere and dread out of so little. The bleak setting of the farmhouse is overwhelmingly sparse, the music is wonderful in that beautifully creepy 70's way (like the title music, which you should click on to restore your faith in low budget film scores, but look out for red housepaint chicken blood and fan editing), and the plot's morality vacuum only grows in power with each viewing. This is the kind of horror the 70's was so celebrated for - creative, ruthless and free of stock plots, using any method and idea to scare its audience. The Axe DVD is also way out of print, and while I'd recommend you get it here's the whole thing on YouTube so you can see it for yourself before dropping a pretty penny. Axe is calling, and it'll hold you in its icy grip if you pick up the phone.
Meet Frederic Hobbs, outsider artist, inventor of the art car, and occasional b-moviemaker. His '69-'74 run as a director wrought four movies - Troika (an experimental movie so obscure even I can't find it), the nude hippie-infested sight and sound journey/historical revisionist musical Roseland (featuring the song "You Cannot Fart Around with Love"), the turn-of-the-century-magician-revival-meets-international-vampire-conspiracy wonder Alabama's Ghost, and my personal favorite, Godmonster of Indian Flats. Set in the real-life Wild West tourist town Virginia City, NV, Godmonster of Indian Flats follows two plots - one with a mining executive trying to cut a deal with the protective, ornery townsfolk, and the other with a mad scientist who makes an eight-foot-tall radioactive sheep monster. This movie is unbelievably fun, keeping its loony plot cooking with a fast pace and directorial flair, and while Hobbs didn't have Jim Henson's Creature Shop at his disposable I guarantee you'll never forget the sheep monster. What kind of gorgeous, unglued mind came up with this holy mess? Only one that begs you to come back for more, and if this clip doesn't look like the greatest movie ever you might as well just lock yourself in the basement with a drum of tap water and a lifetime subscription to Oatmeal Monthly, because life ain't worth living without movies like this.
Let's raise a glass to Mike Vraney and everybody at Something Weird for their tireless enthusiasm, as few other people would be willing to take chances on the stuff they find. While not every movie they release is enjoyable (or watchable, for that matter), their catalog is one of a kind and always eye-opening. If you have a taste for adventure, track these flicks down and get watching. One of the things people at the memorial said repeatedly is that Mike Vraney was a man of passion and determination, and he knew that if you cared deeply about something you needed to get out there and do it yourself, because nobody'll do it for you. He did just that, and Something Weird is a testament to his spirit. Gosh Bless SMV and a blessed watching to you all.
~PNK
No comments:
Post a Comment